he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
i now understand why vodka
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
