I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
