I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
