My room smells like vodka and shame
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I would fuck him just for his dog
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
