Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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