Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
