wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize