This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Randomize
