I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
