I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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