So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
