Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
