i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
