He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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