Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
