summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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