ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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