It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
