yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
