so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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