Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
