If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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