Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I just pynch a tree in the face
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
