There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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