sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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