maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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