I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
