ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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