you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
