You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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