I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
