I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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