I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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