whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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