Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize