Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
