I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
