If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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