apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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