me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Fuck appropriateness.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
