Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
