Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
