Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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