I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
