you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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