Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize