I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize