He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
