You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
