Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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