He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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