Buhtt sex?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Quick, to the slutcave!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
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