Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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