remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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