Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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