come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
