I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
