I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
