I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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