Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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