that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
