I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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